Put Yourself First!
Dedicated to all the girls out there trying to make a mark but stuck in the fuss of orthodoxical thinking.
We girls in India to be particular, are treated and taught the whole of our life to be sophisticated, we have to go to another house, live there, feed those people, make them happy, and whatnot. The question here arises is what about our happiness, our freedom, our way of living?
I have also come across many times in my family, everyone citing examples or giving me any tips based on my life after marriage. Are we just given birth to always make others happy who are not even our blood? I mean why can’t people give examples of how you will be treated at your workplace, how to behave there, how to talk when you have a job, or own your own business.
It makes me so sad, although provided all the resources and luxuries, our parents are teaching us nurturing us, but what’s the point when the thinking remains orthodox just like the whole society. It’s not that they do not support me, they support me a lot and respect all of my decision but somewhere in their mind, they have these things they want me to do based on their past situation. Seeing the situation in the country, when making girls literate and independent is the need of the hour they say such things which literally breaks my heart.
Here comes the thing of putting yourself first in everything. If we have to survive, Oh! not just survive, to live; we have to ignore the sayings of the people because it not only hampers our thinking but also brings us to the state of depression that apart from doing so much, gaining so much knowledge are we just bound to live a life we never imagined. We deserve freedom, to be treated respectfully, and to choose the life we want to live.
Kamala Harris after becoming the first female Black Asian-American Vice president of the USA quoted these beautiful lines:
“While I may be the first woman in this office, I will not be the last. Because every little girl, watching tonight sees that this is a country of possibilities. And to the children of our country, regardless of your gender. Our country has sent you have a clear message: dream with ambition, lead with conviction and see yourselves in a way that others may not simply because they’ve never seen it before…”
Reading this quote every time a feel a zeal of energy in myself, we are not weak, we can do everything we want to just need ignorance, focus, and power to face these kinds of tragic situations in life where people- maybe our near dear ones or the people outside will make us think we are worthy enough or not, you may become sad, want to cry aloud, so do cry, I myself sometimes feel what’s the point of living and feel like my life is waste but then after a lot of crying and underestimating myself, I wake with a voice inside me that no, you are not that weak, you have to live, you have to fulfill all your dreams, create the life you always desired and most importantly be known by my name in the society, not of some other person.
There is an awful situation for girls in India, and they are helpless, but the ones who have everything and can make a change in the society, do not fall for the trap of living on someone else’s dominance, or who are facing these dilemmas, gather courage and try to live for yourself once. Having an identity of your own in society will help you in the family you live with afterward.
Work hard, do whatever it takes, it is okay to be selfish at times although it is not selfishness, it is prioritizing yourself, taking care of yourself because till now as I have seen no one cares for you if you are weak or not focused in achieving your goals, everyone in this world goes after the ones who make money or are focused and well established. These societal shams will make you dull and depressed. Given all the resources consider yourself lucky, take a small step, go the extra mile, and live a life of your dreams; because after all, you are worth it :)
P.S.: This blog is not against the male-dominated society or targeted any race, religion, or sentiments of people, it is just to convey my thoughts for the way they are treated and not treated, but somewhere told to just focus on how they will live after marriage, not on how to enhance your career and make a beautiful life on your own.
